me and my interesting interpersonal relationships

I have a newly acquired housemate. An ostensible head injury recovery stay has turned into a residence-- that is, until he leaves me to go try and cure poverty in West Africa. Until then, I have someone to fall asleep with, help with the dishes, remind to buy more bread, hold my hand on the couch and point out my disgusting habits. It's nice. I very much enjoy our queer little relationship.

I am going to a wedding next week. I need to buy a highly inappropriate gift for the couple: if you know me, you know why. The trip itself, however is costly for me, even though minicb and I are having our first stay in a "family friendly hostel." Since the government has yet to give me that stimulating payment I need to pay down my dental work debt, I've little money in my back account with which to purchase said highly inappropriate gift. Still, it's fun to try and find the most ridiculous wedding gift possible.
The "Doggie Style Strap":















The "Bonker Extreme": ( I don't really even understand what this does, but it costs $700).












Some friends have suggested his and her butt plugs: